Originally written for The HLP App
If you identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you could pass this article along to a friend, family member or acquaintance that you feel would benefit from a nudge in the right direction.
Now more than ever, the LGBTQ+ community has to face lots of societal and systemic challenges. Homophobic hate crimes rose by 32% from 2017 to 2022, and transphobic hate crimes rising by 240% in that same period. Authorities tell us that this is an unprecedented rise.
In addition to this, anti LGBTQ+ legislation is on the rise across the world, with the UK government shockingly blocking a Scottish gender recognition act, which would have helped further secure LGBTQ+ rights in law. In the US, 240 new anti-LGBTQ+ bills were tabled in the last year alone, and Uganda have recently re-criminalised homosexuality, with a maximum penalty of life imprisonment.
In short, the LGBTQ+ community is under attack, and needs support from wider communities.
Knowing how to help and the correct thing to say can be challenging, particularly if you have additional needs, but don’t panic. You don’t have to identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community to help out.
You can be an effective ally.
This article will take you through what being an ally actually means, and how to make your actions count!
What is an ally?
In order to figure out how to be a good ally, we need to define what being an ally actually means. In basic terms, an ally agrees in fair treatment and equality in society for people that identify as a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
In reality, being an ally can be so much more than that. Allies can be sources of information, support and solidarity.
Here’s how you can be a better ally!
1 - Educate yourself and others
It is important to educate yourself and others on current events, language, and helpful resources, as this responsibility can weigh heavily on the LGBTQ+ community.
Here are some really useful sources of information to help you get started:
Switchboard – Switchboard is an LGBTQ+ helpline and support group for LGBTQ+ individuals. They’re dedicated to supporting, informing, and empowering individuals. They have plenty of resources to help educate you, and they are a non-judgemental safe space where you can discuss any questions you might have. Check them out here.
Atypiqueers – Atypiqueers are a neurodiverse LGBTQ+ support group based in London. In addition to being an in-person meet up space for neurodiverse LGBTQ+ individuals, they also have a huge library of resources. Check them out here.
Social prescribing – Social prescribing is a way for your healthcare provider to link you to non-clinical services in your area. This can be really important for LGBTQ+ people looking for a community that is specific to them. Social prescribers can link individuals up with groups for volunteering, arts activities, group learning, gardening, befriending, cookery, and sports. For more information on social prescribing, click here.
2 - Be mindful of language
Being consistently mindful of the way you talk can take a lot of mental energy. Don’t panic, all it takes is practise and an open mind!
Here are a few things to bear in mind if you’re learning how to accommodate the LGBTQ+ community with your language:
Pronouns – Using correct pronouns is an important part of making someone feel comfortable. When someone starts using different pronouns, it can feel like a big change, but be respectful, apologise if you make a mistake and don’t be afraid to ask someone what their pronouns are if you are unsure. Common pronouns that people use are he/him, she/her, and they/them.
Deadnaming – “Deadnaming” is the act of referring to someone by the name they used before they transitioned. An individual’s deadname can also be referred to as their “birth name” or their “given name”. This can be hurtful to individuals, as it can make people feel like their identity is not respected. They can also feel “outed”. If you are unsure of the name you should use, you can respectfully ask the individual how they would like to be referred to. It’s also important to bear in mind that you should never ask a trans person to reveal their deadname to you, as this is personal information.
3 - Accept the fact that you will get it wrong sometimes
Changing the language you usually use every day is hard, and sometimes, you’ll use the wrong pronouns, or assume someone’s label. Don’t worry, this happens. All you can do is apologise and work at it.
If you don’t know what to say when this happens, try something along the lines of this:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to use that word. I’m trying to learn and I’m still working it out. In future, if I make a mistake, I would really appreciate it if you could let me know.”
Don’t be afraid of letting others know if you have additional needs that make changes in language tricky for you; you’re both trying hard to accommodate one another! Openness and understanding are the keys to building bonds between communities, and if you’re trying your best, they will too.
4 - Look for ways to contribute
Actions speak louder than words, and whilst it’s great to align with the LGBTQ+ community, finding ways to contribute is even better. There are loads of ways you can tangibly support the LGBTQ+ community. Here are a few.
Attending rallies and vigils – being there physically is a great way of showing the world just how substantial a community can be
Attending protests – you can show physical support and protection for the LGBTQ+ community by attending protests. As the right to peaceful protest is currently under extreme scrutiny from legislative bodies, LGBTQ+ groups voice that they have “never felt more vulnerable”. You can show solidarity by attending these protests and other direct action events
Donate – if you are able to, showing financial support is a directly impactful and important way to show solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community. You can donate to charities, gender affirming surgery funds, memorials, and many more causes
Talking the talk is one thing, but it’s important to walk the walk. Bear all of this in mind, and you can be a great source of support for the LGBTQ+ community
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